The Kid, Down Under, and Moving On

It's been awhile, eh?

This bitch has been busy - adopting some lifestyle changes, making things a little better for me in the here and now, wondering what's going to happen next - but don't worry, there's been some dating drama.

One of my fav pickup lines is "Don't you just hate pants?" It always works, in that it shows my interest and gauges how well-matched the other person's sense of humor is for mine. But more importantly, don't you just those online social networking profiles that practically friggin' require you to tell them if you're Single, Married, Divorced, or the more nebulous two "Swinger/In A Relationship." Wtf does in a relationship mean, anyway? I'm in a relationship with my fuckin' dog,

Why do men have so many problems with being one of several guys you're dating? They all do - Let's review some of the statements that might be misconstrued as permissive if read at face-value:

• "I don't care if we're not exclusive." - Lie. If he's bringing it up, he cares. And it's not because he cares about you, it's because he cares if you're seen in public with someone else and one of his friends tells him about it. Reeks of insecurity.
  
• "I'm not having sex with you unless we're exclusive." - Lie. While I'm willing to forego nookie tonight, I have to let you know that I want you to myself. Reeks of desperation.
• "I never said that - I was only there for a few minutes, and I can't believe they would say I said that." - Self-explanatory. Liar.

So I met this guy awhile ago - a younger chap, which already set off several flags on my radar, because that to me says "insecure." The sex with this kid was hot hot hot... A flexible 23-year-old should be given the benefit of the doubt, right? As usual, things moved to quickly, and I got a little antsy and tried to slow it all down - Of course, you can never tell someone their feelings are out-of-control without doing some damage, so that was expected. However, we had long-standing plans to go to my friends' holiday party together this past weekend - where a good time was had by all except those who couldn't figure out why he showed up, and then couldn't figure out why he stayed when he slapped me for no reason in front of the other guests.

DISMISSED.

Let's talk about the Australian, the Down Under, Ozzie, etc. Ever been on one of those dates where there's just too many rules right from the get-go? I'm not sleeping with you unless... I cant do that because.... Only if we're blahblahblahblah... Well, that was this one. He even got a second chance after starting a tonne of drama when he found out I was dating the aforementioned kid - I mean, he couldn't even handle being told I was seeing multiple people. This one is a quick wrap up - he has lots of feelings for me, I can't believe all the drama he can cause every time he's mentioned.

DISMISSED.

It's 2008 - time for some new boys. The stale old ones are just.... taking up space.