Reasons I'm Fucking Crazy # 76

"I will more than readily tell you about how in love I am with a dog I saw eight blocks ago while you were telling me about how your important_relative died. If you get mad about this, I will assume you hate animals and therefore we cannot be together. However, I will still call you 50 times/day to talk about my hair. Or how good I look. Or the size of my penis." - j